


Teen Romance

by cherrysprite



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Cigarettes, Dancing, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Drug Use, Drugs, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Meetings, Flashback, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Party, Partying, Past Character Death, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Sad, Sad Ending, Slice of Life, Slow Dancing, Songfic, Teen Romance, Theo Raeken-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21638212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrysprite/pseuds/cherrysprite
Summary: I met her by chanceI said, "I really like your pants"I know you got a manGimme your hand (Fuck it)Teen romanceGimme this danceYeah, I took a Xan (Yeah)I hope you understand (She don't)Let me guide youTo a place whereNo one hurts youYou are safe here with meCharacter death at the end.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	Teen Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Teen Romance - Lil Peep  
> Inset song: K. - Cigarettes After Sex

_**i met [him] by chance** _

Theo remembered the night he first met Liam like it was a dream he had just woken up from, bits and pieces, but vividly. He remembered the colors of the sky, the clothes he had been wearing, and could still smell the scent of cigarettes that clung to the lining of his jacket for months after. He remembered the party.

He didn't want to go to it at first, really. It was on his side of town, just a few blocks away where things in the rough area got rougher. That wasn't the problem; Theo had experienced the rougher side of things before. He just didn't particularly want to leave his house that night. He didn't see any reason to go, but he had no reason to stay in, either, so he found himself that Friday night in a dingy, dark, abandoned warehouse that he and his friend Josh would sometimes sneak off to during the summer to hit a few beers and bitch.

This wasn't Josh's party. He had gotten out when the going was good and Theo couldn't really be mad at him for that even if it left him alone for the most part, so someone must have figured out the secret about the broken-open back door. A person with considerable connections, since there were probably about two-hundred of them all packed into the warehouse, drinking and dancing to rap music that was pumped through a few different speakers. Not all of them had even been from their school. There were some of the kids from the "school on the other side" as Josh used to call it, the side of town near Theo's that generally had more money and less crime. They were connected to that side mostly through relationships, like how his friend Tracy had been dating some good-girl named Hayden whose parents were doctors, and had probably been at the party then.

That was why Liam was at the party that night. Theo spotted him while he was trying to get a water bottle from a cooler full of mostly-melted ice, in a group of those same other side people but not really talking to any of them. He spotted one of their own, a guy called Oliver who Theo knew nothing about other than that he gave people tattoos if they asked polite and could pay in some unconventional way, who didn't seem to be paying any attention to the blond one hanging off his arm. He looked kind of hurt that he was being entirely disregarded, even bored, and Theo felt bad for him.

Theo hadn't planned on talking to him, but Liam had stumbled into his path while he had been searching around for Tracy on the second floor staircase, and it had kind of just gone off from there. "Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry," came from Liam when he accidentally tripped Theo and almost sent him down the stairs, and those were the first words spoken between them. He knew that if he had actually fallen, he would have told Liam to fuck off, but he'd managed to catch himself on a surprisingly muscular arm, so all he did was nod and shrug.

_**i said "i really like your pants"** _

They had stood there for awhile, both across from each other on the same stair. It was clear to both of them that they should say something else, even then, but neither quite knew what to say. Theo leaned back on the metal railing with his hands behind him and looked at him. He was shorter than Theo, not by much, but slightly stockier and with a more athletic-looking build. His hair was actually a light brown, not blond, though Theo would come to find that it did look lighter in the sun, and even through the darkness they were standing in, he could tell he had blue eyes.

Liam was the first one to talk, motioning to Theo's shoes smoothly. "I like your shoes," He said only a little awkwardly, and Theo looked down. They were just his beat-up white converse that he wore to parties and occasionally school on days he really didn't feel like trying. They were covered in grass stains at the base and sharpie drawings on the fabric. 

"Oh, thanks," Theo said while trying to think of something to say back. His eyes for whatever reason landed below Liam's belt, because of course they did, but luckily he didn't say anything bad. "I...really like your pants."

It was Liam's turn to look down at what he was wearing, but there was nothing special about them. They were just lightwash jeans paired with a grey sweater and white shoes not unlike his own but without the wear. "Yeah," Liam said, mostly just in acknowledgement. "You've got tattoos," He observed, motioning again, this time towards Theo's hand. There were more underneath the sleeves of his jacket and shirt, but he didn't pull them up to show. "Oliver do 'em?"

"Oh, no," Theo started to explain, wondering why his voice sounded so weirdly casual but nervous. Talking to Liam just felt different. "I had them done when I turned sixteen at an actual place." He noticed one on Liam's hand, the same one that had a thumb hooked into the pocket. "Your's?"

"Oh, it's fake," Liam said quickly, rubbing his fingers over it. It was a small flag, possibly Scottish, that smeared under the swipe Liam put over it. He had been laughing a little, probably at the prospect of still drawing on himself with sharpie, but the smile on his face slowly faded. That was the first moment Theo regretted while they were talking. Something had made him stop smiling. "I slept with Oliver without something in return."

"His legal form of prostitution," Theo joked, and Liam looked at the ground.

"Yeah, well, we're dating, so," He said firmly, but the malice that he had obviously been trying for never really got there and went away completely at the end. "I don't think he does it anymore."

His eyes met Theo's for a second and softened before turning sad. He must have caught the sympathy in his gaze, for he knew exactly what Oliver bragged about doing during the gym period they shared to anyone at all and anyone who would listen. He hadn't known Liam even existed until about an hour ago at that point, of course. "Oh," Liam said quietly. "You know Oliver?"

Theo nodded noncommittally and was about to start talking before someone came down the stairs, awkwardly pushing through them to get by, so Theo suggested they move further up the stairs. They found themselves on the second level, which was basically a catwalk compared to the first floor, so they sat down out of the way. "I don't really know him, but we lived on the same street for awhile," Theo explained, resting his head against the wall. "We go to school together, have been since second grade, but that's about it."

"Hm," The blue-eyed boy said. "And he never brought me up?"

Theo just had to look at him sadly. "...No. Honestly, if it were anyone else, they wouldn't be able to bring you around to a party like this, but it's not exactly a trophy to have slept with him. Most want to, nobody wants to admit they did. Nobody would have said anything."

"I kind of knew, anyway," Liam admitted. He took a deep breath and puffed out his cheeks as he let it out. "I'm Liam, by the way."

Theo couldn't help but smile at that, his head still tipped back as he looked at Liam. He was cute. "Theo," He said, offering a hand to shake. That was the Northside thing to do, and Liam seemed a little taken aback by it. All it meant to Northside kids was that they thought the other was cool, not that Liam would know. He took it and shook anyway, and Theo couldn't ignore the tingles that went up his arm. "So, you're obviously not from around here," he judged, motioning to Liam's general healthy-looking appearance. "Southside?"

"Yeah," Liam said, sounding a little sheepish. "How could you tell?"

"Well, you don't go to our school and you look like you've slept for eight hours at least one of these nights this week, so I just kind of assumed."

The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile, and it had been one of the smallest but most shockingly breathtaking things he'd seen all night. The small bits of moonlight coming in from high windows had been bouncing off the angles of his face just right, shining into one blue eye, the one facing him, and it took Theo a second to recover from. All he could think about in that moment was how the hell Liam had found himself in Oliver's company when he could have had anyone in the world at his feet with a single line. "True," Liam offered. "And you haven't?"

Theo paused for a second. "...No," He said. "I have trouble sleeping sometimes."

"Bed not comfortable?"

"You could say that," Theo chuckled, more thinking of how loud nights at his house were and the alternative of sleeping in the backseat of his truck, but he wasn't going to tell Liam that just yet. "Your's is?"

"Yeah."

"Bet Oliver loved having that," Theo snorted, and Liam had the decency to look at least a little offended before he laughed.

"Well, I liked to think he liked me for my personality, too, but whatever," he considered, tilting his head to the other side and exposing the long line of his throat unintentionally. Normally, Theo felt a specific type of way when he hadn't had sex in awhile and was horny, but this wasn't it. Liam was just so pretty.

_**i know you got a man** _

"How'd you end up meeting Oliver, anyway?" Theo asked curiously. If he had had a beer in his hand, now felt like the time to drink it, but he didn't, so it only made him want to reach for a cigarette. Oddly enough, he didn't, which wasn't weird in itself but weird because the reasoning was to not drive Liam away in case he didn't like it. "He doesn't seem like your type of person?"

"Oh, and what seems like my type of person?" Liam asked challengingly, a hint of humor in his voice that made Theo feel like he should have been talking to Liam a long time before now. He was looking at Theo again, both of their heads resting against the wall, little contented smiles mirroring each other's.

"I don't know...clean?" Theo said, and Liam broke into real laughter then, making Theo grin wide and his stomach flutter. "You get what I'm trying to say."

"I...guess I do," Liam admitted, although Theo could tell he didn't want to at first. "We met because he didn't have a ride back to his place and my mom picked him up. She's like that, overtrusting and all. He just slipped me his number from the backseat before he got out, and I was bored, so..."

"Ooh, boredom. A great base for a relationship," Theo said derisively, and Liam elbowed him in the ribs. 

"Right, Theo, how have any of yours started?" Liam asked. The question didn't seem at all nosy to the normally closed-off Theo, since it seemed like they could already talk to each other that freely, but Theo still couldn't answer him. He wanted to, he did; he just wasn't sure how. He was just thinking of someone specific, and he didn't know how to word what had happened there without making things too depressing. Liam got that impression. "You...don't have to tell me."

"Thanks," Theo said, quieter than intended. "Well, I think you could do a lot better than Oliver. Really."

He didn't miss the blush that came over Liam's cheeks, and something inside Theo was absolutely delighted at that. What other surprises was this boy hiding? He wanted to find them all. "So could you," Liam said. Theo snorted. _But was it your-level better? Remains to be seen._

_**gimme your hand** _

After that close call, Theo was really itching to get his hands on a cigarette, but he wasn't about to do it inside if that helped anything. Theo stood up after a few seconds of comfortable silence and brushed his hands off on his jeans, Liam's eyes following him from the floor as he did. "Where're you going?"

"Up to the roof," Theo said, extending a hand before he knew what he was doing. "Gonna smoke. Wanna come?"

Liam glanced down at his hand, palm up, before smiling and nodding. He took Theo's hand warmly and pulled himself up, letting Theo hold it as they went towards the next few steps of stairs and levels. Liam's hand felt right in his, just the right size, and he was glad Liam didn't drop it when he could have before. It was unnecessary, of course, for a sixteen and seventeen year old to hold hands as they went upstairs. Still, Liam's grip stayed tight until they reached the roof.

"You've been here before, haven't you?" Liam asked, flexing his now free fingers. He was referring to the way Theo went right to sit against an old AC control panel that was affixed to the roof without thinking about it. Liam followed him as he took out a cigarette and his lighter. 

Theo took his first drag before he responded, Liam settling in next to him. "Yeah," He said, flicking up the cover of the lighter and setting it on the ground. "Me and my friend Josh used to come here during the summer and fuck around when we got bored."

Liam nodded in understanding, not looking at Theo's face, rather zoning out on the smoke coming from the stick in his hand. "Used to?"

Theo smiled softly, remembering. "Josh got out of here a few months back," he said. It was Liam's turn to be sympathetic-looking now. "I can't really blame him. Things here kinda suck."

"Like how?"

"You ask a lot of questions," Theo said instead of answering. Liam rolled his eyes. 

"You invited me up here," He protested. "Here, give me one."

"You smoke?" Theo asked, surprised, earning another roll of Liam's eyes. It became clear to him that his own question was valid when Liam took a long draw and coughed, eyes watering. "So, no."

"S-shut up," Liam grumbled, clearing his throat and rolling the taste of the tar around his mouth unpleasantly. Theo could already imagine him going home that night and immediately rushing to brush his teeth before bed to get the taste out.

It was a few more minutes before anyone said anything else, Liam looking up at the stars in the sky while Theo smoked the cigarette away. As the cigarette got shorter, so did the tension in him, the type he never knew he was holding. "Things suck around the Northside," Theo began, "Because nobody has any money and people got so bitter they became complete and utter assholes. Take my parents, for example. They both grew up here, and had both me and my sister already being bitter over the state of our area. Always bitching and complaining about how much nicer it used to be when they were our age as if they didn't have the chance to get out when I was still little, go to Southside or somewhere even better while there was still money in the bank they could spend." Theo took another hit, vaguely aware that Liam was watching and hanging onto every word curiously. Steady staring at the side of his face, watching the smoke come out of his mouth in either slow rivulets or fast, frustrated breaths. "So people got meaner, they got worse, and so did our side of town. Look at the lights, Liam," Theo said, pointing out. 

The warehouse was on top of a hill in the Northside, overlooking both the North and South side of town. "All of the lights that are on are all the way over there. Southside. North never has enough money to keep the lights on this late at night."

"It's midnight," Liam said.

"My point still stands. So, no, I don't blame Josh for leaving me behind." Theo realized what he'd said and how it'd sounded a few seconds too late to go back on it easily, so he let it roll off of him. He leaned back on the AC next to Liam again and took another drag, holding the smoke in his lungs for as long as he could before he needed air. "It's just the way things go."

"I'm sorry," Liam said, and even though Theo wanted to tell him he didn't want his apologies, it still made him feel better regardless. "You don't deserve that."

Theo blinked a few times, staring ahead, not looking as he put out his cigarette on the ground and flicked the butt away. He didn't even flinch when Liam did something unexpected and put his head on Theo's shoulder, resting it there as if it was nothing. He may have tensed up a little bit unintentionally, but inside, he was screaming for Liam to never pick it back up.

_**(fuck it)** _

He just felt so close to him. Maybe that was why he was so suddenly attached to this stranger, not only for his wit and kindness, but because he was there and around. He didn't make things serious when they didn't need to be, and could just chill out with him like they were doing now. It made Theo feel a little dizzy, like his heart was going too fast.

Liam took in a breath of the cool air obviously a little shakily, like he was nervous too, and that was the deciding factor for Theo. He nudged Liam's head with his chin, once and then twice when Liam didn't get it the first time. Liam moved his head slowly to look at Theo questioningly, that gleam of moonlight still in the corner of blue irises, and Theo's sights dropped to Liam's lips, corners turned down in curiosity. The hand on the other side rose up to cup Liam's face hesitantly, softly, and Liam's lips parted in realization before Theo finally kissed him.

Theo's eyes shut before Liam's, and though he'd never know it, Liam's closed right after, immediately content as Theo kissed him softly. Liam's lips tasted just slightly of the tang of alcohol and tobacco and even less like sugar; he didn't taste like mint or something overdramatized. He tasted like Liam, a real person who was laying next to him and whose hand was making its way towards Theo's neck, and it was perfect. It was tame, it was soft, and it was the only thing that had made Theo feel that good.

_**teen romance** _

Liam pulled away first with a small sound from their lips coming apart, eyes still focused on Theo's mouth with an unreadable expression on his face. "You're, um," Liam said quietly, like he wasn't sure of what to say at all. "...good at kissing."

Theo laughed softly, his breath probably tickling Liam's face, and he wrapped an arm around Liam's middle to pull him closer. "Thanks," He said jokingly. He had to hold back a noise of happiness when Liam nuzzled into the crook of his neck, using his index finger to hook into and pull the edge of his leather jacket out of the way. He got the thought that if it were a little big on him, it would be huge on Liam, too. He didn't ask if Liam was cold, though. He could settle for holding him.

Theo just looked up at the sky again. Around that time of year, the cold air always mixed well with the darkness. He spent a lot of nights like this. He just so happened to be lucky enough to spend this one with company.

"I feel like I just...know you," Liam said a couple minutes later, making Theo's heart jump. "Like I can talk to you about things."

"Are all of you Southside boys this soft?" Theo snorted, smiling against the top of Liam's head and thoroughly enjoying the muffled grunt of annoyance that came from Liam. He rubbed Liam's hair affectionately. "You talk to Oliver like this?"

Liam brought his face out of Theo's neck, eyes shut and face tilted up towards the sky as he smiled. "Why're we still talking about Oliver?" He asked, sounding a little tired. "You jealous?"

"Maybe a little," Theo joked, rubbing his thumb on Liam's side. 

_**gimme this dance** _

Theo was convinced that Liam was asleep after awhile, he was so still on him, the two of them just cuddled up to each other, but he still was only a little startled when he finally made noise. "We should dance," he suggested out of nowhere, and Theo would have thought he was joking if he didn't look up at him to gauge his reaction. At Theo's skeptical expression, Liam smirked. "Everyone else downstairs is doing it. Why not?"

"You sound like you're trying to coerce me into doing drugs," Theo said, straightening out his back and hearing his spine crack from being at a weird, slumped angle for so long. 

"You're probably already into drugs."

"There's no music," Theo said, although he was getting up to take Liam up on his offer. He had just looked so adamant about it, and it wasn't like Theo wasn't already completely lost on this boy. That was when Liam grinned, having obviously had something in mind already, as he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. 

Something calm, somber, started to drift through the phone speakers at a tap to the screen, and Theo watched as Liam bit his lip and set it down on the AC unit after turning the volume all the way up. Theo raised his eyebrows as Liam came forward to meet him in the middle of the roof. "Oh, this is slow," He said, teasing. He wasn't sure how to approach this one.

"Yeah," Liam agreed obviously, nodding his head and coming closer to Theo. He put his hands on Theo's shoulders, looking up at him with that same glittering in his eyes that had made Theo want to fall in the first place, and there was no protest.

It was then that Theo noticed how Liam smelled, like some semi-expensive cologne, but the best part was the fact that Theo's own scent had rubbed off on him, making the cigarette smoke mix. It was intoxicating, almost, and Theo breathed it in deeply without noticing it. Liam, who had rested his face on Theo's shoulder as they moved slowly and aimlessly, laughed almost silently and Theo tightened his grip on his hips. 

_And on the Lower East Side you're dancing with me now  
And I'm taking pictures of you with flowers on the wall  
Think I like you best when you're dressed in black from head to toe  
Think I like you best when you're just with me  
And no one else_

Eventually, the lyrics faded out towards the end of the song, and Theo caught Liam's eyes again before his lips caught his in another kiss. It was just as soft as their first, unlike most kisses either of them had had before, but just as fucking exhilerating. He wasn't too proud to admit that it made his knees weak at the joints and that he was afraid he would take Liam down with him if he fell, since Liam certainly couldn't support them either. They were too caught up in the haze of each other to want to stand upright anymore, so Theo slowly but surely sat them down not far from their old AC so neither of them fell.

They didn't have anything else to lean on, so Theo acted as the supporter now that they were on the ground while Liam scattered kisses on his face until he was out of breath. Liam then leaned back on his hands and sighed almost dreamily, looking across the hill from a different perspective now.

_**yeah i took a xan** _

Theo had been beginning to feel a familiar itch, not one for cigarettes this time, while he was sitting with Liam looking at the stars. He just felt too strung up, like things were starting to get to be too intense again, even in a good way. Of course, for Theo, that happened easily considering what he'd gotten himself into, but it didn't register that way to him when he needed a pill.

He almost didn't want to take one in front of Liam, the same reason he didn't at first want to smoke by him, but he figured that Liam had followed him up there and the situation hadn't failed him. At the same time as he told himself not to, he could also hear the thrumming of music down below and the whooshing of cars on streets not too far away, so he pulled the small plastic bag out of his pocket and slipped a few into the palm of his hand.

Liam looked distracted enough with the sky, and his sigh of contentedness pushed Theo along. He didn't have to take them with water anymore, and he could take all three at once, so he shot them down quick and looked off to the side as if that would have made Liam unaware.

**_i hope you understand_ **

"Did you just take something?" Liam asked, and Theo cringed as he swallowed at the accusation. He rubbed the back of his neck and gave Liam kind of a sideways smile.

"Yeah," He admitted, shoving the bag further down in his pocket while he thought Liam couldn't see. He was wrong again. 

"W-what was it?"

"They're prescribed," Theo lied, acting as though it was nothing, but Liam was lunging over his lap to get to the other side of his jacket. Theo scoffed in indignation when Liam found the pills, yanking them out of his pocket and holding them in the palm of his hand, still in the baggie. "Liam."

"No, they're not," Liam protested, turning it over in his hand and looking up at Theo with a mixture of worry and skepticism at his uncaring expression. Theo smoothed his jacket down again and softly took the pills back from him, and Liam didn't put up a fight. He just furrowed his brow in confusion and glanced back up to Theo's face.

"No, they're not," Theo confirmed.

**_([he] don't)_ **

"Those were Xanax," Liam said as though he had seen them before and didn't like them. Theo silently groaned, but kept a sort of smug smile on his face.

"They're for anxiety-"

"You took a lot," Liam said. "You know, I was kidding about you being into drugs. Those things can knock you out, Theo." Liam put his hand on Theo's thigh. Theo was beginning not to like this conversation much anymore, but he stayed patient.

"They're not that bad," Theo sighed. "I've been with 'em awhile. Nothing's hurt me so far."

"Besides having to take three of them? For no reason?" Liam challenged, raising an eyebrow and shaking his head. "I just don't get why people do that to themselves."

At that, Theo grit his teeth. He knew he had no explanation that he could really give Liam; he's had this talk before and it never went well. He said different things to everyone about it. Guidance counselors who couldn't do shit, he told them that they were prescribed and that he was fine, since he wasn't getting high and they couldn't really do anything about him taking them as long as he did it before school. To his parents, who found the pills on multiple occasions, he didn't have to say much because it was just him getting yelled at, the pills getting confiscated, the yelling being focused elsewhere soon after, and Theo going and getting more from the stash he hid all around. To his friends? 

Well, he didn't have much in the way of them, and it wasn't like any of the people on his side of the world were going to bat an eye at another generic teenager trying to get away for a little while.

"What's your home life like, Liam?" Theo asked, turning to look at him. He wasn't holding Liam anymore now, just sitting slightly in front of him and his neck twisted to see Liam's face. He realized what a low blow it was after he said it, and Liam's mouth opened to answer. Theo didn't let him get any words out, but he wouldn't have been able to, anyway. "Hmm? Because my house is loud as fuck."

He wasn't lying. Theo shut his eyes and opened them again, letting the cold air hit the accidental tears to sting. He thought of the once-white wallpaper stained a sickly yellow from smoke and the carpet with burn holes in them, and the smell of stale alcohol in the house. The way the TV was always blaring if it wasn't someone screaming over the phone or at each other, the Saturday morning cartoon sound effects being all happy and funny in the background of actual clashing and banging. Even when it was nice, the peaceful side where no one was yelling, it was pots and pans on the kitchen floor as they all spilled from a broken cabinet, or the barking of a half-wild dog in the next door neighbor's yard right next to Theo's room. Broken headphones with low quality audio to drown out how loud it already was whenever Theo was at home, curled up and trying to squeeze the pillow over his ears when the headphones only made it worse, but the pillow pressed against the opening of his ears, echoing and suctioning and just making everything sound like he was under water, drowning, drowning, _drowning_...

There was broken glass on the front walkway and he didn't make a sound as he stepped on it when he came back that morning from a different seedy experience, just so he didn't disturb the rare quietness outside. Then he'd come back in and seen the evidence of more of their glasses being thrown, and the quiet didn't matter so much anymore. He should have savored it then, because as he started getting ready for school, someone started the TV back up again and his mom started yelling to _turn it the fuck down_ and his dad wasn't taking kindly to it.

 _Bitter_.

"I can never get a word in there," Theo forced out, "Not that I'd want to, since that would get something fucking thrown at my head and I'd be back to square one. Nothing ever stays quiet, nothing ever shuts up, no one shuts the _fuck_ _up_."

Liam was looking at him when he turned back to see him again, lips parted and eyes shiny. Pity. _Bitter_. "It's been like that for years. Maybe I haven't been on them for that long, I had other things to distract me, but Tara died when I was nine and Josh left town and Tracy's wrapped up in her own life of being smart and having somebody of her own, and I just need to get away from it!" He didn't realize he was holding back tears until one fell on its own, which he quickly swiped away with the back of his hand. He could slowly feel the effects of his bars taking its hold already, the result of taking a few more than normal. He was able to calm down. "I'm not getting high, I'm not going on a trip, I'm just..." Theo let out a long breath. "Sorry. I wasn't trying to...I just need them to quiet things down."

He didn't know what he expected Liam to do if not start yelling at him for getting too emotional and taking things out on him, but it wasn't the softness that came. "You're not at home," He reminded softly, scooting closer to him and holding one of his biceps. His thumb stroked over his jacket. 

Theo let out a sort of short, sad laugh, hearing the music below. "Is it _not_ loud now?"

It was the saddest Theo had seen him that entire night when he looked down and met Liam's eyes again. He was still holding onto him, but his eyes just looked so sad, so broken, so pitiful, before he opened his mouth. It took a second for words to come out. "No," He said quietly, and Theo's sarcastic smile dropped slowly. 

Liam gripped his arm tighter and buried his face into the material of Theo's jacket. "Hey," Theo whispered, touching his face with his free hand and bringing Liam's chin high enough that he could press a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be-"

"No, about what I said about your life," Theo said, looking into Liam's eyes. "I'm not trying to tell you your life is perfect. There's just...people deal with things in different ways."

"I know," Liam told him. "I just wish you could deal with it in another way." Quiet, Theo rested his head on top of Liam's. "I know someone who does what you do, and it started out not being that big of a deal, but...he can barely function now," Liam confessed. "Even if he can't overdose on them, he's barely alive as he is. Tolerance building up, and all. You need more. So, you're on three now, but...where are you next week, next month? Sometimes he just doesn't go to school. He started them because he needed them, but then he took too many one time, and he got hooked."

Liam sounded so sad, and Theo never wanted to be the person who made him that way. He suddenly felt like he had cotton in his mouth. "I'm sorry," He said. "I guess I never thought about what it did to other people."

"It's alright for now," Liam assured, leaning closer to him so that half of his face was obscured from view. "I wish there was something I could do to make you see things more positively, is all."

"Maybe someday, Liam," Theo said. He had no doubt.

**_let me guide you to a place where no one hurts you_ **

"You know, I had always been kind of interested in the Northside," Liam murmured. "I always thought about checking it out. That might've been one of the reasons I came to this party and wanted to hang around with Oliver. But now..."

"Oh, baby, no," Theo breathed, kissing the top of his head. "No, you don't belong here. You don't belong anywhere near here. Not in it, not near the border, not in this goddamn city." Liam held onto him tighter, but still relaxed. "You're too good for this place."

"How would you know that?" Liam asked a little jokingly, but Theo wasn't kidding at all.

"I just do," Theo said. "I'm not scared to say it."

"Why?"

"Because after tonight..." Theo trailed, reaching into Liam's pocket and pulling out his phone. Liam let him, eyelashes fluttering as he looked down at the slightly dry skin of Theo's hands and fingers, his phone looking small in them. Theo scrolled through Liam's phone until he found his contacts, and put his own number into a new one. "If you want me to, I'm gonna call you. And I'll call you again after that, and again after that, and if I'm lucky enough to have you, I'll call you again after that." Liam giggled, and it was the sweetest sound, the only sound Theo wanted to hear from then on. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

So the fate was sealed. Liam saved Theo's contact and took a picture of him to use for his icon, then took a few more just because, and slipped his phone back into his pocket. Theo didn't normally like having his picture taken, but Liam doing it was different. He felt appreciated that way. He wondered if it would ever wear off.

But for the time being, he spent that time on the roof with him like it was sacred, neither one of them ever even thinking to go back and rejoin the party below. As far as they were concerned, their party was up there, laying out under the stars as Theo finally found someone to open up to. They laughed and talked and Theo showed Liam all of his different tattoos, told him who Tara was, about what he would do if he got out of Beacon Hills. Liam shared his dreams. Told Theo he wanted to go some place greener, the rural side of things, and live next to some horses. Theo had laughed at that at the time for being so specific, but he could picture it even as they'd only met each other three hours ago. The image of the two of them, happy in a house with fields around them and quiet was pleasant.

Theo just wanted to take Liam far away from there, where he deserved to go. They could be happy and safe somewhere else, somewhere that there wasn't a risk of being jumped on the street or screamed at at home, because Liam was too nice for either the north or south side of Beacon Hills.

He whispered this to him then, and Liam just smiled at him.

__

Theo's main goal ever since he met Liam was to keep him out of harm's way, and it hadn't changed as they grew to know each other better. Liam told him all the time that he felt more secure when Theo was around to protect him, and Theo never brought him to the north side when they hung around together. In fact, a lot of their time was spent in Liam's backyard, where the birds chirped and there was no huge rottweiler waiting to eat anybody in the next yard over. Theo had been content.

Along with being protected, Theo knew he made Liam happy. He told him every day that his life was better with Theo in it, and that he didn't care about what baggage he was carrying around. That was one of the things that made Theo fall in love with him, Liam's complete disregard for what was bad. Theo had someone to spend his days with then, someone that made life worth living, even if they weren't doing the same seedy things that he had been doing before. Theo found that he liked spending time at Liam's house, doing innocent stuff like having a conversation with Liam and his parents at the kitchen counter or even making homemade pasta. That had been a day for the books. It was quiet there, even better than the roof.

There came a point where Theo was taking time out to visit him every day. His parents always asked him, or more accused him, about where he was going so often, but he went anyway to see him. His Liam was more important, and the streak of times they saw each other didn't break.

It didn't even stop today, as Theo was sitting in silence down by a marble gravestone not too far from Liam's house. He'd been doing that in place of going back to the Dunbars' house. If Liam wasn't there, why would he go?

He could feel his heart breaking every second he spent near him now, a stark contrast from what it used to be, but he stayed anyway. He was getting dirt on his jeans, and that would earn him a few harsh words when he got home, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His white converse were getting more beat up as days went on, and his hands felt gritty from being in the grass all the time, but Theo could hardly feel himself breathe when he was in this place anyway.

Liam's death had taken them all by surprise and left Theo numb for days, weeks, months, still going now. The funeral was small for his small family and his friends, open casket with a smiling portrait of him nearby. Theo was invited and stayed the whole thing, didn't talk to anyone and stayed behind after he had been buried, and he wished he could have come in better clothes than black jeans and a jacket.

The only thing that kept Theo together through these days was the knowledge that it was quick and painless, in his sleep one night after they'd gone on a date. His mom had told Theo over the phone that it had something to do with Liam's heart, a sudden death caused by an untreated problem, or something more complicated that Theo couldn't comprehend at the time and couldn't remember now. 

It didn't make sense to him. He had experienced death of people in his life, but those had been drawn out. It didn't register how Liam could be there one night, walking in through the front door after Theo dropped him off, innocently brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed, and then not be anymore. How he could have just slipped away from them in the night, around two, to be exact, to be found by his stepdad the next morning when he didn't shut his alarm off. 

At least he wasn't lonely. At least that since it was in his sleep, he didn't want to call out for anyone and couldn't or have to experience the realization that he was dying. He didn't think about Theo or his parents when he went, he just left quietly, like he was never even there in the first place.

But he was. Theo had accepted awhile ago that Liam wasn't really _there_ anymore, that he was somewhere better and waiting for him, but he still couldn't forget about him. Liam never left his mind for a second, not when he woke up, not when he went to bed, not when he was at school, and certainly not now, when he was just sitting by his resting place in the same position they'd taken so many times over. He was still right by Liam's side, even though it had been a long time. It had been so long that Liam's parents told him it was okay, that he didn't have to stick around if he didn't want to, thinking that he felt guilty. He stayed anyway, came every day after school and after weekend chores.

It put things in perspective, Liam's dying, in a way that Theo didn't like. It made him wonder why it couldn't have been him. He'd deserved it far more than anyone else, especially Liam, and had suffered through enough that dying wouldn't have cost him much. Liam had his entire life ahead of him, and those dreams of living in the country. The horses in the stable next door. Theo didn't get why it had to be him taken from the world so soon. He'd never considered that the good kids died young too. 

Theo's eyes were watering thinking about it, but as he sat in front of the gravestone on his knees, Theo smiled through the tears. He remembered something Liam had said to him that first night about thinking positively. In all honesty, he had no idea how he could possibly think positively about this, but he smiled. He knew that was what Liam would have wanted him to do.

Without noticing it, he was thinking as positively as he could, reminiscing to that night on the warehouse roof during the party he almost didn't go to. He remembered it like it was a dream he had just woken up from, bits and pieces, but vividly. He remembered the colors of the sky, the clothes he had been wearing, and could still smell the scent of cigarettes that clung to the lining of his jacket. Liam's smile, and the texts in his phone. The stars.

Tears fell to the ground but Theo still kept the corners of his mouth steadily upturned, looking up into the sky afterwards to show Liam he was still going. That night, like he did every night, he'd imagine Liam looking back down at him with the same expression.

Theo remembered that night.

He was sure Liam did too.

_**you are safe here with me.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for this.
> 
> I would really love some feedback on this one. I'm very proud of it, but I want to know what you guys think of it since it's a lot different than what I normally do.
> 
> I will also let you know that this hurt me and by the end I didn't want Liam to die. I was sobbing. I don't think I've done that before.
> 
> Comments are always always always appreciated!  
> My new Tumblr, so you can yell at me there: https://emmas-scribbles.tumblr.com/


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